No sleep and lots of coffee, plus a yellow jacket.. Bad mix, but its a little to late now. Neh? Oh well, like a kick to the face that doesn't wake ya up! ... ... Ahem.

Anyways, update. Leaving May 11th for Basic and my AIT. Fourteen weeks I will be gone and so, yeah.. Fun fun. I also lack steady internet connection at this moment in time. So, using the college as a source and that means I am not on very much anymore. I moved out too, blech.

Anywho, life goes on. Things are starting to look better and so, yeah. Not so bad now. Heh.

Tears washed away in the rain, the kiss of the raindrops to my flesh.

I lie awake upon the grass, gazing to the heavens filled with gray clouds.

I see no light, only rain and darkness. A shadow that swallows me and consumes my soul.

Lost in a whirlwind of agony that eats away at my soul and heart, tearing me to sherds.

I live no life, only death...

No live, only pain and darkness. A veil of shadow that has fallen over my eyes and consumed me whole. I fail to see anymore, I just wander as my mind wanders the halls of dispair. Worry, aniexty, sorrow.. Loneliness that refuses to leave me..

Tis how I have lived of late, empty. Alone, wandering.. A shell of my former self, a ghost. A single wraith that travels watching from the distance, a disonace in my being so strong that the discord hurts in me. A dull ache from a sharp pain, a stab wound that doesn't heal and the blade broken inside of me. Twisting slowly, so perfectly in me that the pain sings through my veins as the purest agony..

I fear, I hate, I breath.. Yet I do not live. Tis like looking through a grey mist and failing to see beyond...

Ahh, well.. Not like anyone cares....

Hmmm, where to start and where to end.. Tis the question.. Guess I shall start from where my quicksilver thoughts to first. Valentine's Day. Notta happened, another day spent alone and my failed attempt to sleep the entire day gone down the drain, so I was stuck awake the last couple of hours of the day.

Leave it to the americans to make a holiday that gives guy's an excuse to slack off all year, minus anniveries and such, and for those that don't have a special someone its a day to feel.. Alone. And for those with emotion/mental issues, its just worse in the long run. Manic depressants, bi-polars, or just plain unable to cope with one's emotions.. In my case? I'm not sure, bi-polar probably..

To say my Valentine's Day was painful, to say the least, for it was spent doing nothing. Being online, not able to drive, not able to ride the bus, not able to do shit.. Just sit and stare at my monitor and waste away as I wait for folks to RP with, only to find out there is no one or the folks online don't want to play. Feh.

On a further note: I'm not in school, I don't have a job, so.. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do for rent for March.. Feh.. Anyways, yeah.. My cold meds are starting to get to me, so.. Thats it for now.

Hmmm.... School and no work. Sounds good, neh? Not really, it sucks as I can't pay for next term. So, yeah, all in all I'm gonna be kicked out of my house soon and yeah. So, I'll probably post once after school term, after that. Won't hear a damn thing from me, cause I won't have 'net or a home.

Well, unless I can somehow pass my Math class... Which, well, isn't going to be happening anytime soon. So, yeah, its all good though. I've fucked up my life, so why should She be nice to me in the long haul? I mean, shit, I haven't done -anything- right since.. Oh, a very long time.

Anyways, enough bitching. Catch ya'll on the flipside of things. Be good all 'n take it easy Kj. There is always a Light at the End, just open yer eyes.  

Le gasp! I live! Really, I do.

Anways, whats been happening of late? Not much, getting back into school. Trying to find a job and looking into the Marine Crops. Other then that? Nothing.

Lounging in his room, helping friends move, pondering a wedding gift for another friend, and puttering away on my 'puter. Yeah.. Boring life. But thats it, nothing big has happene.

Later ya'll.